


Internal

by pureeddie



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Bi! Mike Wheeler, Dustin been known ppl are gay sheryl ok, El is a sweetiepie, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay! Will Byers, I love byler, Jealous! Mike b/c duh thats one of his biggest traits, Joyce and Jonathan know Will is gay because they have eyes and ears, Lucas is one hell of an ally, M/M, Max is vv good at observing, Mike and El are together because ouch!, Mike is a fucking idiot and doesnt know what to do about gay feelings, She is also an evil genius, Will doesnt have BOWL HAIR OK bby needed an upgrade, Will fantasizes a lot, Will is overrun with painful yearning someone pls help our booi, embrace it, for the sheer fact that mike is a panic gay and cannot possess that cocky BS from s3, i wanna make max and el gay but im a coward, im a coward b/c lucas is the best and he deserves max maybe ill let el be an idenpendent gorl, mike is a sub-top sorry not sorry hes wEAK and we love it, mike is such a dork, sooner or later my boys gon be on some next level shit ok, steve the bi and robin the lesbian are the wise old wizards in this gay origin story, the year is 1989 and it is the summer before college! wowza lifes a mess, they are all 18 and ready to have student debt, we love supportive friends in a homophobic era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:33:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22939483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pureeddie/pseuds/pureeddie
Summary: Will wishes that, out of all people, he could love someone other than Mike Wheeler.Sadly, you don't always get what you wish for.AKAWill is hopelessly in love with Mike. Mike is afraid of his feelings. Max is a genius.THEME SONG OF THIS STORY: FOR YOUR EYES ONLY BY BABE RAINBOWMight be 15 chapters? I am not sure yet!
Relationships: Will Byers/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90





	Internal

Hello there!!! Been thinking about how tragic the Byler trope is and decided to add to it. There will be a happy ending- so no worries!! The Party are all of age and soon in the chaos of college! First fanfic in the fandom so please enjoy xoxoxxo PS: im sorry if this sucks pls bare with me, the first chapter is always the hardest haha

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“You look at Mike the way he’s looking at that cheeseburger,” Max’s voice lowly comments as her and Will stand in line to order. Will’s eyes tear away from Mike’s mouth, which was pursed in an attempt to keep all the food he bit in his mouth. 

Will was starting to regret her offer to wait in line with him after he arrived late. 

“Max,” Will begged her to quit it, looking down at the crumpled ten-dollar bill in his hand. It’s been a month since Max found out about Will’s little crush.

She put the pieces together like magic. One movie night on a Saturday his mother was out late with Hopper and everything clicked for her. Will made the best of it since Jonathan was working late that night and wouldn’t be home as well. 

He told them all on the Friday afternoon before heading over to his place around 7 PM, and that’s what they did. Lucas and Max demanded they watch ‘The Warriors’, it being one of their favorite movies. They all complied. 

_Half-way through the movie, Dustin interrupted. “Intermission! One must release liquids and acquire snacks,” Everyone groaned, but allowed it. They all dismantled from that weird, socially acceptable group silence people have when watching a movie together._

_Now that chattering started among the group, Will stood from his spot on the floor to get a refill of Pepsi. Before he could make it that far, a hand grasped and enclosed on his wrist._

_Will whipped his head back to see Mike, leaning forward just to barely hold onto him, his other hand holding out his cup._

_“Could I have some more, too?”_

_Will’s eyelashes fluttered at the purpose of Mike’s hold, which now was gone. Will looked into Mike’s face before glancing, for a millisecond, at El leaning on his arm. His eyes focused back on Mike, who’s eyebrow was raised._

_“More soda? Oh, uh, sure,” Will responded in a breathy manner, taking the cup from Mike’s now relaxed arm. He had to bend his knees to get it, but not by much. Mike’s arms were just a bit longer than his._

_“Oh, thanks,” Mike smiled at him before leaning back onto the couch, putting the arm that had been holding Will’s wrist around El’s shoulders._

_Will kicked back the feeling of jealousy before it dampened his mood._   
_He took one last glimpse of Mike, who side-profile teased Will’s heart._

_Will turned dutifully towards the kitchen, shaking his head at his stupid mind. It went to places he had no business being._

_As Will poured Mike’s glass carefully to the brim with soda, Will’s eyes flickered to look at his wrist. Mike’s hand still burned on his skin in a prickling, ghost sensation._

_Will wondered if it’d burn like that if they kissed._

_To knock him out of his daydreams, Lucas yelled out a laugh as Dustin came back into the main room._

_“Will, come on!” Lucas was laughing, one arm draped over his torso with the other raised to Will. Dustin was chuckling as he took the bag of chips off the counter._

_“What?” Will questioned, eyebrows furrowing together at their sudden volume._

_“Will, tell me that’s not your bathrobe hanging on the bathroom door,” Dustin chuckled, pointing behind him with his thumb._

_Will’s face heated up as he looked towards Mike, who removed his arm and was now leaning on his knees by the elbows, gazing at Will for an answer._

_“The bathrobe?” Will managed as he swept his gaze back at Dustin, who had a smile the size of the sun on his face._

_“Uh-huh. The fluffy lavender one? The one that looks, well-honestly, extremely cute. I cannot lie,” Dustin puts his hands up, shrugging at the facts._

_“Could be his mom’s robe, moron. And Lavender? Just say purple,” Lucas scoffed with an open-mouthed smile, his head shaking._

_Dustin’s hands were upturned in defense, the chip bag crinkling in his grip._

_“Lavender is still purple, Lucas. That robe isn’t just ‘purple’, the specific name for that shade is Lavender, ok? And this robe is too big for Joyce, she comes up to, like, my shoulder-``''-Dude, who cares? You could’ve just made it simple-``''-Simple? What am I, a heathen like you?”_

_“-Alright, we get it. Will likes pretty things and you two are idiots. Agreed?” Max halted the two’s arguing, raised her eyebrows and looked for their verbal answers as an outstretched smile graced her pale face._

_Lucas looked defeated and Dustin looked unfinished. “Agreed,” the two said in unison nonetheless, though their tones were not quite believable._

_“I like lavender, too. It must be soft, huh?” El commented in a small voice on his robe, smiling at him from across the room. Will nervously smiled back, nodding as his fingers circled around his cup._

_“Ha! See! It was Will’s,” Dustin shoved into Lucas’ face as he made his way back to his seat. Lucas pushed Dustin’s leg in response, earning a betrayed ‘Wha-hey!’ from Dustin. Max leaned to shut the lights._

_Will refilled his cup fast and messy, for the others already pressed play on the movie. Will’s eyes raised from the two cups in his hands to look at Mike, who was already watching him._

_He walked extra slow to make sure Mike’s cup didn’t spill over, making Mike’s gaze harder to bare._

_Will always felt his chest flutter under Mike’s dark stare._

_Especially when he caught Mike looking before he looked, it really did something to him._

_Will bit a smile back as hard as could when he realized Mike’s arm still hadn’t returned to El’s back._

_“Uh, here,” Will whispered, not wanting to bother the rest. Mike didn’t lean forward to meet him half-way, only raising his hand in silence._

_Will leaned down closer to place the cup in his hand, in which Mike subconsciously pushed closer to get a hold of it properly._

_“Jesus, Will, how much did you pour in here?” Mike whispered back, looking down at the mere centimeter of cup you could see to the full cup._

_Mike could barely move it towards his body since he stupidly decided to let his arm extend so far. He looked quite silly, his arm out all the way, holding a cup like a robot._

_Will shrugged with a smile, getting onto his knees to comfortably sit back in his spot, the spot in front of Mike. Sometimes Mike pushes his legs to rest against Will’s back. It’s nice._

_“Sip it so it doesn’t pour-over,” Will suggested, now on both knees. Mike’s mouth dropped open for a moment, but when he said nothing Will began to sit. Before he could, he heard it:_

_“Can you sip it for me?”_

_Innocent in intention, maybe, but it struck through Will like lightning. Lightning that was way too hot to be feeling in a room full of friends._

_He turned back, shock spread across his features. Mike had moved closer so that the cup was right in front of his face. All Will needed to do was lean forward and drink._

_And that’s what he did. Anything for Mike._

_Will cleared his throat subtly, before pushing on his knees towards the cup._

_When his lips were attached to the cup, his eyes flickered up at Mike, who’s eyes were wide and jaw tightened. The cup tilted to an incline, forcing Will to start sipping._

_The very fact that Will wasn’t the one tipping the cup, that he wasn’t the one in control, made his face heat up._

_His stomach flipped at the gesture. Being on his knees in front of Mike, assisting him- it made Will’s stomach drop with shame. That same shame was arousing in ways it shouldn’t be._   
  
_It didn’t stop until Will gulped down a big sip, signaling the Mike may have tilted a bit too high. The cup came down to an even level and Mike took the cup from Will’s lips._

_“Uh, thanks,” Mike voiced quietly, pulling his eyes from Will’s._

_Will turned to sit on his ass faster than he intended, landing with a loud ‘thump’. He ignored the feeling in his bottom from slamming down so fast and tried to strain his eyes on the television._

_My back straightened as much as it could, partly out of embarrassment, partly to avoid Mike’s warm legs from grazing my back._

_Will could only pray no one saw, whatever that innocently stupid act Mike pulled, and thankfully no one brought it up._

_By the end of the movie playing on the VCR, Lucas turned the lights back on and everyone broke into a conversation once more._

_Huh, guess no one thought anything of it, most likely similar to Mike. Stupid, clueless, attractive Mike._

_Relief flooded Will’s body, enough to make him smile and laugh at Dustin’s impression of Luther from the movie._

_“Warriors, come out to play!” Dustin hollered, earning a loud laugh of approval from Lucas._

_El was pulled up from the couch by an enthusiastic Max, who asked her to look at the VCR slip, murmuring ‘Who do you think is the cutest?’._

_Will hadn’t caught it, but Max’s eyes locked on him for a sly moment before walking back to her seat with El in hand._

_Will sat for another moment, turning and leaning his arm up on the couch, where El left empty. His elbow grazed Mike’s exposed thigh, for they were all in shorts that hot August day._

_Like fingers to a flame, Will jerked his arm away, looking back at Mike with wide eyes. The boy’s legs were spread out, elbow on the armrest, head in hand._

_His eyes were focused on El, who was lowly giggling with Max in close range, pointing at various boys on the cover of the VCR’s paper slip._

_Will thinks he went undetected, shoulders lowering in reviving calmness, as he turned his vision back to the group._

_“Sometimes I get suspicious of how close they are,” Mike’s voice nearly whispered in the loud, boisterous room._

_Will’s head slowly angled back to look at Mike, in the same position. The only thing that was different was his dark eyes, now zeroed in on Will._

_“Who? Max and El?” Will asked softly, eyebrows furrowing slightly._

_Mike only nodded, head still pushed into the palm of his hand._

_“Sometimes I think maybe Max’s big plan is to steal my girlfriend. Maybe it was her plan all along,” Mike said, more stern than Will’s ever heard his own mother be. It made something inside of him jump, knowing Mike was thinking of homosexuality in some form._

_Will eyed Mike’s facial expression, trying to see what he was trying to convey. It wasn’t long after Will cocked his head that Mike’s resolve cracked and his eyes lit up in humor, mouth pulling into a grin._

_Will’s shoulders relaxed, slowly but surely, at Mike’s smiling face._

_“You dick, You really had me worried about your mental health for a second, you know that?” Will nudged Mike’s leg as the tall boy laughed._

_“I was about to say, what’s wrong with you,” Will giggled along, and Mike straightened his posture, hand falling down on the arm of the couch._

_“Why? You don’t think it’s possible?” Mike questioned, and Will watched his big hand grip the head of the arm, fingers rubbing into the fabric._

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Them liking each other more than just friends,” Will didn’t catch the gleam in Mike’s eyes and took him literally._

_“Hold on, you actually think Max likes El?” Will let out an exasperated laugh, looking back to Mike’s face. But then Will realized in the way Mike’s eyes lingered on him that, no, that’s not what he was asking. But before he could tell Mike that, Mike told him anyway._

_“Not necessarily Max and El, just in general. You don’t think that friends can be more than just friends? Regardless of gender?” Mike didn’t look confused, he actually seemed to know the answer already._

_Will’s mouth fell to speak, rethinking what he was going to say a couple of more times before he spoke, Mike's eyes falling to his mouth._

_“I mean that’s what happened with you and El, right? You were friends first, and then you dated,” Will knew what Mike meant, but the fucker just wasn’t asking it properly. So to play it safe, Will avoided it all entirely._

_‘Is it gay to like your best friend?’ is a question that Will has asked himself since he internalized Mike’s face in 5th grade._

_He began to predict Mike’s expressions. He began to dream of him more regularly than the others, and then sooner or later Lucas and Dustin weren’t in the dream at all. It was only Mike._

_“Yeah,” Mike dismissed, knowing he didn’t get Will to say what he intended, but much like Will, he settled._

Push came to shove and Max tore him aside a few days later. 

They all met up to go to the arcade. 

Somewhere in between Pacman and Asteroids, Max pulled him to the back, arm in arm, and spewed what Will feared most: “You like Mike, don’t you?” and the rest is history. Max is observant and Will is a bad liar, what can he say. 

Now they were waiting in line to order at the diner, more than a month after the big reveal. 

Will has begged her, but Max had yet to let up on questioning him about his crush. 

He wonders if it’ll always be like this. 

He can only hope that one day he will lose these feelings for Mike or Max would stop bugging him. Maybe both. 

“Ugh, he’s so sloppy. Why him, again? Out of, literally, all men?” Max’s face was contorted into a grimace at the sight of Mike’s burger-eating, and Will tore his eyes as Mike’s began to drift towards them. 

“It’s not like I chose him,” Will mumbled, retracting his limbs to cross over his chest. Max sighed, letting out a sympathetic hum. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll cool it down,” Will looked at her with thankful eyes and a small smile, Max smiling right back. 

Sure, if he could choose someone to be in love with it should’ve been some openly gay icon, middle-finger up towards the heavens at bigots. He wanted safety, romance, and requited love all wrapped in one man. 

Preferably darker haired, nearly black. And eyes just as dark. Maybe someone taller, Will would like that. He likes the idea of being pulled upwards to meet someone half-way, like in movies. 

If not Mike, someone older. Someone who knows what they’re doing, anything else, anything but Mike. Will would kill to wish this crush away. Why him? Max asks that as if he deliberately set himself to be heartbroken. 

Why him? Why Mike Wheeler? The ever-so-straight Paladin who couldn’t even look anyone in the eyes when Lucas said he thought it was ‘cool that Freddie Mercury was gay’.

Dustin had paused eating chips and asked ‘He is?’ to which Mike rushed out of the room, presumably to the bathroom. 

The same Mike whose dad was a seething Republican, only ever asking how many girls he’s ‘had’.

Why did it have to be his best friend? The one who slept in the same bed during sleepovers but now offers to sleep on the couches, separate, instead?   
  
That strong-willed gay lover that Will dreams of is the furthest thing from what Mike Wheeler is. 

So, why? Will knew why. Because Mike was stunning. He was annoying in the way where Will wanted to suffocate himself into a pillow at night. His eyes were black pools, solid and comforting, truly alluring.  
He laughed at Will’s jokes, he coddled Will in ways that made Will bitter, in the most fondest ways possible. Love was a hateful thing. He hated himself for loving Mike. 

Mike-Untouchable-Wheeler. 

The room stills when Mike looks at him and that is a well-enough indicator that Will was beside himself in adoration. 

But Mike isn’t good for Will. And he never will be. He’s straight and unavailable, so Will must really hate himself if that wasn’t a good enough reason to change his heart. Maybe you can’t help who you love.

Will wishes he loved someone who could love him back. 

But, alas, here he must stay. In love with a boy he could never have. 

“Hi, what would you like?” The Cashier asked in a scratchy tone, looking Will in the eyes. Will’s mouth ran a bit dry, seeing how attractive the older boy was. He didn’t have to look over to see Max’s smirk, but he did anyway. What did they want again?

“We’ll have 4 hot-dogs and 2 cokes, please,” Max chimed in a teasing manner. Will felt his ears burn when the Cashier raised a brow at Will. Will noticed how nice his eyes were. Deeply brown and very pretty. Almost like-

“-That’ll be $6.75, sweets,” The guy made out, eyes falling to Will’s open mouth. 

“Oh! Uh-” He looked down and watched his hand yank outwards with a crumpled ten-dollar bill in it. Will stole a glimpse of his mouth, occupied with one wooden toothpick, facing up to the sky as the boy smiled, taking the money. 

This kid had to be at least 20 years old, a whole 3 years ahead of Will. His mind rampaged the idea of- Will’s eyes flickered to his name tag- Blake, a senior, flirting with him in freshman year.

Wild,.  
Crazy.  
Experienced.

Blake would know how to kiss him, hold him, tell him everything's alright. Could Mike do the same, Will pondered. 

“Here’s your change. Your order will be brought to your table. Where would that, uh, be?” The Blake guy looked up steadily and saw right through Will.

Max hastily took the change and receipt underneath it from Blake’s open palm and turned to point at their table. 

“The booth in the corner by the window,” Will’s eyes pulled from Blake and followed Max’s pale arm like an arrow. 

Dark eyes met for a split second before they vanished. 

Mike. 

Mike’s head spun like he sneezed, and since he didn’t look back, Will assumed that he did. 

“Okay cool. It’ll be out ASAP,” Blake said as Max took Will’s arm, quickly thanking Blake as they moved to go sit back down. 

Before they got there Max whispered to Will threw a smile, “He totally thinks you’re cute,”. Will could only hope so, maybe Blake was his ticket out of Mike-town. 

Will realized as soon as he sat back in the booth that Blake was no such thing. He felt engulfed in Mike’s presence almost immediately, vision connecting to his side profile, watching El almost scarily as she giggled at Dustin’s joke. 

Pathetic, yes, but at least Will was consistent. Consistently pitiful is better than spontaneously pitiful, no? 

Blake brought Max and his food over not too long after and Will suddenly wanted to die. 

“You, uh, forgot your receipt,” Blake chuckled out as he finished placing their drinks and food in front of them. He held out a small white paper towards Will. Will’s eyebrows creased, remembering very well that Max had grabbed the cash and paper from him before. 

“Really? I-” Max knocked her foot violently into his, and he quickly realized what was happening. He took the paper and his eyes fell on scribbled blue ink: Blake’s phone number. 

“Oh, uh, t-thank you,” Will breathed out, a smile breaking across his face. Blake’s semi-nervous look fled and was replaced with the same eyes he made at Will earlier. 

“No problem, cutie,” And with that heart-piercing statement, he left. He left Will at a table with all eyes, including Mike’s (especially Mike’s), on him. 

His heart dropped, for he never had told anyone but Max anything about his love life or his sexuality. It was all implied at school with the insulting ‘fairy’ and ‘homo’ labels left and right. 

Sometimes the bullies felt like the day was special and crowned him nastier slurs instead. No one in the Party brought it up in pure respect, except for Max. She was quite the pioneer. 

“Wow, he really didn’t want you to forget that, huh?” Dustin joked, eating a fry from his plate. Lucas was staring intently, like his brain was connecting the dots. They, of course, did. These were the smartest people he knew. It wasn't a well-constructed puzzle nor was it rocket science; Blake was into Will and it was as transparent as the cup holding Will's cola. 

“Yeah, he didn’t want you to forget him, huh, cutie?” Lucas raised his eyebrows at Will, a grin baring brightly on his face. And then, suddenly, Will felt much more at ease with the lack of questions. 

“Remember to take the paper you’ll lose in your wallet anyway, honey!” El jokingly joined in, reaching over the table to squeeze his arm in wordless support. 

Max gently knocked her foot against Will’s lovingly and it grounded him so fast he could have vertigo from relief. 

They didn’t need to ask him. Not if he wasn’t ready. He felt overwhelmed with acceptance, he never knew it could feel this good. 

With a permanent-like beam, Will felt his body relaxing. But some tension kept his back straight. His eyes fell back to Mike, who was leaning on his hand, looking at Will blankly. 

“Isn’t Will cute, Mike?” Max grasped his cheeks and jaw, squishing his face. It burnt his face strawberry-pink, looking across at Mike in such a submissive manner. Especially after Max had gone and called the spot-light on him. 

Max's hand pressed onto his jaw in a way Will wasn't publicly comfortable with when Mike's eyes stared him down as it happened. He felt, in a strange sense, perverted. She began cooing at him like one would at a baby, Will finally fought to get out of her grip. 

“Yeah, the cutest,” Mike’s words hit Will like a punch in the nose. It was quiet enough for no one else to see it as anything but a joke, just like the rest had; but Will couldn’t stop thinking about it either way. 

In fact, he was mentally drowning himself in those 3 little words, like a seaman blissfully being kissed under the crashing waves by a siren. To hell with repressing his crush, it was human's sinful manner to give into pleasure. Even if that pleasure hurt later on.

Days later, Will was up at night, hearing the words again and again. It was much like the other nights before. 

He hated himself, but it was just too easy. He hated himself anyhow, so he might as well let himself have this. 

And then it was easy. 

Easy to slip his eyes closed, hands roaming himself, hearing Mike’s words in different tones, seeing Mike’s eyes the way Blake’s were. Hazy, lidded, tempting something just out of reach. It was easy to pretend his own hand was Mike’s, cupping his jaw, fingers brushing his lip, creeping to his waist band. 

It was just all too easy to give into things that weren’t good for one’s self. And it was all too easy to love Mike for someone he couldn’t be. 


End file.
